Hey guys! How was your Memorial Weekend? My weekend was low key but well spent. My honey was in town, and this holiday we decided to skip the barbecues and family gatherings. We decided to focus on just us this weekend. I hope your weekend was great as well.
After this weekend, I decided that my next blog post would focus on the importance of self prioritization. Self prioritization is very important to our well being so lets talk about how we care for ourselves and the emphasis we place on making sure that we are completely happy. In the past I struggled with concentrating on my needs before I tried to satisfy others. We've all been told at some point that we should always try to give others the best of us, temper what we say, help others where possible etc. But at what point do we step back and make sure that we are OK before anyone else? Sometimes we are so caught up with making everyone else happy that we forget that we cant save everyones’ ship from sinking if our ship is about to hit the iceberg too. We often put too much pressure on ourselves to the point that we are spread too thin. We worry about perfect endings and being viewed favorably by others.
A few years ago I was at a place where I was more focused on pleasing the wants of others. I modified my voice to make others comfortable. I spoke lies to make it easier for others to tolerate or suppress their truth. In the process I suppressed who I was. I was afraid to speak truth to people around me because I felt it necessary to pacify their feelings even if it meant carrying on relationships that were in no way self serving. I took the saying ‘treat others as you would treat yourself’ to heart, and in many cases forgo my needs to make sure that a family member, friend or partner is satisfied. After a while I realized that I was completely neglecting what I wanted. Over time, I reworked the way I approached my needs. For my situation it took me a while to actually understand what it is that I needed to do. We have to come to the realization that self prioritization is not the same as being selfish. I read a quote recently that said “the problem with putting others first is that you are teaching them that you come second”. That spoke to me in so many ways. In so many cases, the people who I placed above myself were the ones who completely trampled my kindness and love. I am sure for many of you reading this, the feelings are mutual. Again, self prioritization does not equate to selfishness. And if you have moments where you want to be completely selfish that is ok too. It is ok to say “no” to family members who prey on your kindness. It is ok to distance yourself from partners who have a tendency to overlook your needs while playing up theirs. It is ok to rethink friendships that are not balanced.
When we place ourselves at the bottom of our priorities list we run the risk of adding to our daily stressors. We develop unhealthy coping methods and sometimes shut down at inappropriate times. So my final message for this post is this; it is wonderful to be the champion for everyone else, but it is difficult to help people along if you have not equipped yourself with the necessary tools to deal with your own issues.
What are your thoughts on self prioritization? Can you relate to anything in this post?
Thanks for reading
XOXO